PTO Humor

“I'm saving my sick-days 'til when I'm feeling better.”

The Faculty (1998)
Nurse Harper (Salma Hayek)

Hellweek Placeholder

I do have more to say about my Hellweek experience, which was hell, and not in a fun way. But for right now, I prefer to have a laugh. Don't you??

How 'bout these for starters?

Yup, Still Here: Hellweek Day 2

Just haven't been in the blogging mood, but rest assured I'm still here and riding. It's just that any time I have been spending on the computer has been devoted to IMing with the hubby and various friends, or watching season one of "Torchwood."

Day 2: Stonewalled, 58 miles
Total mileage: 94 mi.
Weather: Sunny, windy (as usual), can't remember temp, but kept vest, knee/arm warmers on allll day

Nice ride through rollers at beginning, nasty little evil climbs into a raging headwind in the middle, then more rollers at the end. Within the first 10 mi., I hooked onto a little pack of 3 people from Dallas going at a nice pace. This ride will always be remembered for one guy, who has since been dubbed Mr. Monologue. He never stopped drawling from the moment I started riding with his 3-some, 'til the bitter end. (sigh) After the halfway point, the other 2 in our party (a husband and wife) left the group, needing to return early to Dallas. So it was just me and Mr. Monologue for the rest of the way. We were in some hilly territory, but instead of trading pulls into the wind, Mr. M. continued to ride alongside me, bloody talking my bleeding ear off.

Admittedly, some of his conversation was interesting, though not the majority. Notable for its interest/humor quotient was his story about going by himself to Belgium for a week and meeting up with some 60-something cycling semi-celebrities. They took him (perhaps an early 50-something) on many famous climbs and despite the 10-year difference in age, were still handily kicking his younger arse.

We rode along, with him alternately yapping, mooing at cows and barking at the occasional dog, until to my relief I spotted Sascha and Robin going the opposite direction and had an excuse to detach myself. Phew. I watched him disappear into the distance with relief as I chatted with the girls, then started off down the road again.

Once I hit some flats, I started seeing Mr. M. not far ahead of me in the distance. Apparently bored without an audience, he eventually turned around to hook up with me again - interrupting a very nice conversation I had just struck up with a man from my hometown of Grand Rapids, MI - and rode back to the ride start with me.

My back had behaved better today. Though things felt really tight down my left back, I was able to be down in my aerobars a tiny bit while minus Mr. M. However, some unfamiliar muscle in my left glute/hip area had begun talking to me throughout the ride. Oi. What the?

To be continued . . .

Hellweek Day 1, Y'all

Ride: Up on the Hilltop
Mileage: 36
Weather: High of 84ish, windyish

First, a little catch up - we made it!! Drove approximately 11.5 hours on Thursday, stayed overnight in Oklahoma City, OK, then hit the road bright 'n early Friday for around 7.5-8 hours, arriving in Fredericksburg mid-afternoon.

Nice driving weather, lots of sun and blue skies. Big highlight was chancing upon Dublin, TX, the charming home of Dr. Pepper. Check out the link for interesting DP facts! I regret not stopping to enjoy an authentic Dr. Pepper (made with cane sugar - only available for purchase in TX or via mail order) at the soda shop. We briefly considered taking a drive back sometime this week. However, it's about 3 hours from Fredericksburg, so . . . mebbe next time.

We finally arrived in Fredericksburg - which since it was a beautiful day was crawling with tourists. We stopped in to register for the week's riding, checked into our hotel and set out to walk around town.

My back had felt progressively better day by day, but I was very nervous about how it would react to riding, especially in hilly terrain. I chose to do the shortest route available of 36 miles to feel out the situation, while the rest of the group set out to do the 56-mile ride. A wave of giddiness swept over me as I walked out the hotel door with my bike, into a pleasantly warm Texas morning. Hurray!!!! I'm riding outside again!! It took me a few minutes to get my head together and wrapped around the hazards of being around cars again. I ran one red light on my way to ride start. Whoops - DORK!

As I stood about at the start area, just waiting for things to get underway, some guy reeking of dweeb tried to strike up a conversation with me, having recently purchased a PowerTap. He charmingly opening with an attempt at I'll show you mine if you show me yours, inquiring as to what kind of wattage I average with my PowerTap. Um, what does it matter? You're a guy and I'm a gal - our averages will not make an interesting nor useful comparison. I wriggled my way out of the conversation and sent plenty of cues that I hoped would snuff out any chance of it continuing. He wasn't to be dissuaded from talking my ear off. Even worse, when he learned what ride I was doing, he immediately tried to adopt me into his group, rallying the members in the assumption I wanted to ride with them. I managed to turn on the slipperiness, eluding them as the ride started. Phew!

Unlike a couple of years ago, the first day was not a gentle day of riding, easing us into the hills and wind. It was hill, hill, hill from the get-go. My back didn't exactly hurt, but did persist over the first 20 mi with a strange stretching sensation at the formerly painful location, especially on hills. I hooked onto the front of the ride with a great group of guys - 2 older gentlemen from Fort Collins, CO, a younger guy from the Twin Cities who was a veteran of several Minnesota Ironmans and another Minnesota cyclist. Crazy! I came all the way to Texas and still ended up riding with Minnesotans! Funny the way that works. The other odd thing was how incredibly familiar the route was. Even though I had only ridden it once before back in 2006, I recognized many things to a freakish extent.

Since we were enjoying each other's company and help in the wind, we stuck together all the way to the turnaround at the Hilltop Cafe, where we just sat awhile, enjoying the sunshine, a cold pop and conversing. The other cyclists Mr. MN Ironman had come down with then joined us for the ride back - another male Ironman triathlete and a female. The ride back was much less hilly and a good deal less windy.

I've gotta say that I'm not normally one to hook up with other riders and enjoy the conversation, but this ride was a major exception. I never tired of talking with any one of my companions. The two men from Colorado had just concluded a week of riding on their own and will be heading back home tomorrow, so they bid us adieu as they turned off to return to their hotel. I was actually very sorry to see the friendly and kind gentlemen go.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing in the pool's hot tub (after a good dunk in the coooooold pool), drinking and eating. As for my back, tomorrow will tell. I have felt just fine this afternoon, but won't know the outcome 'til I get up in the morning. The ride on Sunday will be either 46 mi. or 56 mi. The bod will let me know which upon arising in the a.m.

More later.

Being Gumby Sucks

I’m way too bendy, and it sucks. This gumbaciousness has now reared its damn head yet again, standing between me and my Hellweek cycling fun. Oh, and it hurts a whole frickin’ lot, too.

This Gumby thing. To get technical about it, my joints are “hypermobile” or “hyperflexible.” This inherited trait has been at the heart of many - who knows, perhaps even all - of my injuries over the years, not to mention great fits of fate cursing and hair tearing.

Late last week, I raised my bike saddle a couple of mm and did a 75 minute trainer workout, followed by an easy 15 minute transition run. I felt great the entire time. Not a new workout, not any more intense than anything I’ve been doing, not longer. I experienced no new aches, pains, tweaks - nuttin’. Felt great the entire workout and the whole day afterward.

Next morning, my alarm went off. I turned it off, started to get up and was surprised at a really nasty pain at the top of my bum on the left side. I lay there in disbelief, thinking what the . . .?? Where did this come from?? The only thing that was different the day before was raising my saddle a measly 2 mm.

This is what comes from having too much mobility in joints. If I cause a millimeter of wobble in a joint, said joint makes a mile of it. Almost a week since the insult to my SI joint and I’m still painful, and unable to train. Yup, little blips that wouldn't cause the ordinary person to miss a step throw me for weeks.

Well, I’ve got 2 days ‘til our first ride on Saturday. Maybe things’ll turn around. If I am able to ride on Day 1 at all, it will definitely will have to be a shorter, slower ride than I ever intended for the trip. But just riding at all will have to be enough. If I can’t ride, I’ll have to play tourist and see more of Texas. There's plenty to do in town and in Austin. I've never seen San Antonio, and it doesn't look more than a hop, skip and jump from Fredericksburg.

When life gives ya lemons for body parts . . .

Which Super Villain Are You?

A big thanks to Snakebite for this silly quiz:

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

Dang. I would have loved to be Dark Phoenix, but
You are The Joker

The Clown Prince of Crime. You are a brilliant mastermind but are criminally insane. You love to joke around while accomplishing the task at hand.

Mraaaaoooow!!!!

Happy Trails, Stranger

It's amazing how the smallest, random, human interactions can influence the tone of one's day.

As our older, gentleman bus driver put his machine into gear to begin our short ride from the Park 'n Ride to downtown Minneapolis, he cheerfully announced over the loudspeaker,

"Good morning! Today is my last day driving a bus. So where would you like to go today? Where would you like me to take you on this fine, sunny, cold morning?"

Someone up front suggested Mexico.

"Mexico sounds nice. I've never been there. Maybe I'll go now."

I don't think a single rider failed to thank the soon-to-be retiree and wish him well when exiting his bus.


“I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one."

Into the Wild (2007)
Christopher McCandless (Emile Hirsch)

Wonderful Weirdness

Ahhh, the unmistakable, spooky sounds of the musical saw. Not a mad scientist, spaceship or otherworldly creature in sight. How wrong.

(Warning: You may want to listen with headphones if you have a dog/cat about.)

Hellweek Homestretch

How the heck can it be March already?

Good news: Hellweek (and sights similar to this one) is just days away! One big highlight of this trip will be meeting and riding with Chris. How cool is that? He's already been racing and is sounding mighty strong, so mebbe he can push me up some of the hills. ;-D

Bad news: I've only been riding 2-3 days a week. I've been on the 2fer plan - 2 workouts per week fer each of the swim, bike, run, XC skiing and weight training.

Given the hours I've been putting in during the last few months, I wasn't that nervous about my lack of time in the saddle. That is, until I happened to look at my training schedule for the month leading up to my 2006 trip to TX Hellweek. I was riding 4 days a week then. Eeek!

I have been putting in my base-building time, however. As a result, I feel my fitness is quite good for this early in the season. The Ironman gals I swim with reassured me this morning that the endurance I have in the bank will see me through, so here goes nuttin'! I may not be fast right now, but I'll get those miles done.

While I was up at the cabin XC skiing this past week, my bike was staying warm and dry in the shop, getting my new rear wheel (birthday present!) built and put on, along with my Hillcountry 27 cassette. I'll pick 'er up tonight and get back in the saddle, then add new tires before departing for the 2-day drive to Texas next week.

Yeehaw, y'all! Texas, here we come.