Death Pumpkin

Holy wow!!!

A pumpkin carved as The Death Star.

Un-fracking real. Oh wait, I'm jumbling my sci-fi.

That's Battlestar speak.

You, too, can sculpt a Death Star Pumpkin - go HERE to obtain your carving orders.

FREE Miracle Blood Pressure Reducer!

No chemicals or pharmaceuticals needed! Lower your blood pressure while simply looking at your computer screen! 100% natural medicine.

Instructions:

Gaze at the photo below. Do not be surprised if an involuntary smile reflex is activated, often accompanied by a verbal response, such as

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW."

This response is normal.

You may find you want to gently stroke the kitten belly on your screen. Please indulge this impulse - it will only enhance the positive effects.


There - don't you feel better?

:-D

An Illustrated Wish

for when hunting season gets underway.
(click 'toon to enlarge)

Label Me a Victim

Of a meowsome wine label.

If you know me, you know just about anything with a cute cat on it is catnip to me.









So when I went to the liquor store recently in search of libation for a Friday evening and spotted a prominent display of Kitty Kat wine . . . I was helpless to simply walk away.



I mean, really - how in the world could a bottle NOT follow me home? Check out this adorable pawprint detail!

Filled with anticipawtion, I removed the cork, expecting it to have a fabulous cat on it, too. However, it was entirely blank. Hisssssss.

You're undoubtedly wondering if the wine was any good. I don't know from Merlot, being a Shiraz, Cab and Chardonnay gal, so I found it to be serviceable, I guess.

But that cork . . . a real disappointment.

This Post Could Save Your Life

While checking out the soon-to-be-a-classic "Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon,"** I discovered this important anti-zombie tome.

How have I survived this long without it?

"The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain."

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair. [Whoops - didn't realize my long hair was endangering my life!]
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike. [Well-equipped here, what a relief]
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

Buy a copy for yourself and your loved ones, NOW! Before it's too late . . .

**For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as:

•How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan
•The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin
•Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet
•Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab
•How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy
•Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks
•How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage
•What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode
•Death Aide certification
•And much more ninjafied enlightenment on every shuriken-sharp page!**

Old Timey Trail Ride

I can just picture one of these lovelies in my own backyard. Even perhaps acting as a trellis for some creepy-crawlies - from the colorful, floral world.

Spotted this bike art along the Lake Wobegon Trail the other day. The hubby wanted to ride - a trail as usual. So I agreed, but ONLY if we could go somewhere new! Gas being a little more reasonably priced (at least temporarily), we undertook the appx. 75 min. trek to the Avon, MN trailhead. (As expected, there was a Stratford Street right there in town :-D )

It was a nice ride, passing through some charming, older MN towns (Albany, Melrose, etc.) But don't let the bucolic blue skies in these photos fool you - we got drizzled on some and battled some persistent winds on the way back.

I do prefer the more off-the-beaten path type trail rides, if I've gotta do them. Nonstop woods, lakes and quiet landscapes suit me better. But this was definitely a nice diversion for a lovely, fall day.

Ma-Ma-Ma My Pomona*

The apple-crazy time of year has returned. It's Honeycrisp season again - hurray! Plus, I hear Honeycrisp has a tasty new friend I've yet to meet, CandyCrisp. Not to be punny, but they sound Delicious!

In reading up on the lore of apples, I've learned it all doesn't stop at "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Find some entertaining magical uses for apples here, but here are some for healthy livin'. Supposedly:

• To keep colds away for a year, eat an apple at midnight on Halloween.


• To keep up the strength, sniff an old sweet apple.


• To remove warts, rub the warts with an apple and bury it. When it rots, the warts will disappear.


• John Gerard, author of the famous Herbal of 1598, recommended a cosmetic salve to keep the skin soft and supple: apple pulp, lard, and rosewater. Known as pomatum (pomade), it was popular well into the nineteenth century.

Mmmm, rubbing lard on one's skin. No thanks - I'll stick to lotion.

I found a few additional pomade recipes online, for those of you who aren't Dapper Dan men. This one seems like it would be quite nice - excepting the ox marrow:

Cantharides Pomade:
Ox marrow........ 300 drachms
White Wax......... 30 drachms
Mace oil........... 1 drachm
Clove oil........... 1 drachm
Rose essence or geranium oil....... 25 drops
Tincture of cantharides............. 8 drachms

*Who in the world is this Pomona? Amaze your friends:

"Pomona was the Roman Goddess of fruit trees, especially of apple trees, and was also know as the “Apple Mother” who gave the “apples of eternal life.” Roman banquets ended with apples and an invocation of Pomona’s blessing."

Politicians: An Astute Observation

“Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.”


Man of the Year (2006)
Tom Dobbs (Robin Williams)

Sorta Personality-Free . . .

. . . today, yes I am.

But these two have plenty of drama to go around:

To Get Your Week Off to a Good Start

A wonderful quote:

“Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.”
The Land Before Time (1988)
Littlefoot's Mom (Helen Shaver)

Spycam - Shakespearean Villain Runs for Office

Spycam's eyes (lens) just about bugged out upon seeing this sign - briefly thought it could be an excellent prank put on by some high school class studying "Othello."

Phew. A tough name to run under. Wonder how he'll come out on the women's vote?

Hurray for the Hobbster!!

Way to go, Hobbs!

Platelet count is now at 60,000 up from 30,000 last week. Woo hoo!!

He still needs about twice as many of the tiny things, but is no longer in danger of bleeding and the bruising has stopped. Phew! Still under many restrictions, i.e., no chasing bunnies, but the gloom and doom has lifted significantly.

Hobbs' 11th birthday is this Monday the 6th, so we bought him (and Bennet) a couple of beautiful new beds. New toys, etc., will be coming as well, but not until we get more platelets on board. No flouncing about with his favorite screaming gorilla toy until that count goes up up up. For now, he's just happy to be able to stroll about the yard without being on a leash (though still watched carefully) and to eat his normal food again. Canned food was really no big thrill for Hobbnob - he's a kibble boy.

Okay - off to ride. I've been a victim of screen suck this morning, so will have to ride closer to home than I'd like. Heading off to Scandia from White Bear Lake. Tomorrow, a new route either out west or from River Falls, WI.

P.S. I'm busy mapping my rides so you can enjoy them, too, if you'd like. Hope to post them soon.